Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome to Made for Good, the podcast where we explore how to live out our purpose through good works counted by biblical truth. Hey.

Speaker 2: 0:13

I'm Josh and I'm Mark. Today we're talking about peacemaking, what it means to be a true peacemaker in our relationships, in our communities and in our church. Family Conflict is a reality of human relationships, right as followers of Christ. As Christians, we're not really told to always avoid conflict, but we are called to engage in peacemaking. And peace is not the absence of conflict, but it's really the result of what happens after you work through it with love and humility and wisdom. So, josh, let me ask you what's the hardest part do you think about those three of making peace with someone you have an issue with?

Speaker 1: 1:00

Yeah well, first of all, this is a difficult topic. Let me just say that I remember in class this was challenging and this will be challenging today. But, to answer your question, my opinion is it's pride, pride and humility. In arguments or difficult situations, sometimes we get so caught up on our desire to be right that we don't even listen to what's going on or we're not even focused on seeking peace. And, to oversimplify this, we do this with people that we love, people that we would think we would never have these kinds of problems with humility and pride. Think about times where you have an argument with your spouse and at the root of it, we are focused on winning the argument rather than restoring the relationship.

Speaker 2: 1:42

You know absolutely. That's true, unfortunately. But you know, Jesus gave us a really important and powerful promise. So there's a relationship between a promise that God has given us and our actions as peacemakers. If you go to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, we look at verse 9. These are one of the Beatitudes you know, very familiar to most of us. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. But don't you want to be called a child of God? I think that that's a characteristic of a child of God, because being a peacemaker is not just avoiding the fights. It's about the active reconciliation and always trying to work towards unity. So today we're going to talk about how we can follow the biblical examples of peacemakers and try to apply those lessons in our own life.

Speaker 1: 2:37

The Bible is just filled with incredible examples of people who stepped into conflict and brought about peace, and we're going to go through this together, mark. I want to start with Abigail. She defused a dangerous situation between David and her husband.

Speaker 2: 2:51

Yeah, so you know, this is a story of Nabal and David. And you know, david comes up. Obviously, Nabal is wealthy, he's got some resources. David and his men are kind of on the run and they, they just ask for some help and Nabal says you know, absolutely not. And then David gets all up in arms and he's going to kill all of them. And who steps in? Who's the third party peacemaker? It's Abigail. Yeah, she does it with wisdom, she does it with humility. It is, it's such a wonderful story. Abigail steps in and resolves the situation by providing what David needed, what her husband refused to give. So she used wisdom, she used humility when she addressed him. You know, she's shown herself, you know, very, very humble in his presence, because she knew it was about to get really, really bad, not just for her husband and their servants, but for, maybe, her herself.

Speaker 1: 3:51

Now think about Jonathan. He stepped into conflict. He sought peace from his father, king Saul and David.

Speaker 2: 3:59

Yeah, there's a case here in 1 Samuel 19 where Jonathan goes to his father, King Saul, and says, why are you doing this? And he reminds his father of all the good things that David has done for Saul and so he really tried to intervene in this relationship. And this was not easy for Jonathan to do. I mean, anytime you go before a king, it can go one of two ways right it can go very good or very, very poorly for the person who's trying to plead their case essentially before the king.

Speaker 1: 4:32

Those are two examples that maybe not as known as these next, that I want to go over with you. Think about Moses, how he stepped into conflict and brought about peace. He interceded between God and the Israelites when they had sinned.

Speaker 2: 4:45

Yeah, you know the passage there in Exodus 32, god is fed up with Israelites and he says leave me alone. I'm going to destroy them and I'll make a great nation out of you. But Moses steps in and pleads his case. He's saying you know what are the Egyptians going to say? You just brought your people out and you just killed them in the wilderness. And this is such a fascinating conversation where you've got Moses, a human being, and he's pleading his case with God because God is angry. And he's successful. He saves the nation, he resolves the conflict between Israel and God. And this is one of those many ways that Moses is a light figure to Jesus. Jesus stepped in and resolved and reconciled man and God.

Speaker 1: 5:40

That's so good. Our last example is somebody that I feel like we've talked about almost every episode, and that's Barnabas. He helped bridge the gap between Paul and the early church.

Speaker 2: 5:49

Yeah, you know the passage in Acts 9 where this is right after Paul's conversion and he goes to Jerusalem and he tries to join himself to the disciples there and, like we think you're up to something. They didn't trust him, yeah, and who steps in? Barnabas steps in and takes Paul to the apostles and he vouches for them. He tells them that Paul can be trusted, paul has been converted and he is a disciple and, of course, that's the beginning of a relationship that we read about through the rest of the book of Acts, josh, this is a great lineup of peacemakers in the Bible and great examples for us to follow. Let's look at Hebrews 12, verse 14. There's really a direct command there by the Hebrew writer and that's that we're to strive for peace with everyone and for the holiness, without which there's no way that we're going to see the Lord.

Speaker 2: 6:47

The first part of that verse is strive for peace with everyone. This implies the word strive there implies it's. It's difficult. Yeah, I do not have to strive to eat a bowl of ice cream. You know what Natural talent here, I'm able to do it. Cream you know what Natural talent here, I'm able to do it. It takes almost no effort, but I really have to strive for not eating the bowl of ice cream. So being a peacemaker what we're saying here is being a peacemaker takes effort. It's not just the effort, and this does not come naturally. It requires humility, as you've already mentioned, come naturally. It requires humility, as you've already mentioned. I think it requires patience, you know, because this stuff doesn't always get resolved quickly. It may take multiple conversations to get a resolution or at least to get to a point of peace, and it really it takes a willingness on our part to put in that effort, even when it's difficult.

Speaker 1: 7:46

Yeah, you're so right. How can we take these examples that we've talked about already and apply them to our lives?

Speaker 2: 7:52

Well, you know, Paul gives us real practical guidance in keeping the peace. If you look in Romans 14, verse 19,. He says let us make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification. There's that word again effort. It takes effort, but Paul is telling the Romans to make the effort. Paul is telling them that although it takes effort, it's going to lead to peace and to mutual edification.

Speaker 2: 8:21

Now, some of the key principles of keeping the peace here is, you know, honoring others above ourselves. You know, as you said, choosing humility over pride. I think sharing with others in need, kind of it, fosters goodwill and unity. Rejoicing with those who rejoice, mourning with those who mourn there's a connection there emotionally that strengthens a relationship. We talked about that a little bit in our previous episodes. And then turning away from evil and doing good and this is just choosing to do the right thing promotes peace and avoids conflict. You know, when we're prideful we may say things that we shouldn't and that causes hostility, causes issues in our relationships. But it will not do that. It will avoid the pride. In other words, turning away from evil and doing good Instead of pride, choose humility, Then we can actually avoid the conflict altogether.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Well, flat out, keeping peace is not always easy, but sometimes, like you mentioned earlier, we're just called to do it. It requires us often taking the first step towards reconciliation, even when that's uncomfortable.

Speaker 2: 9:35

Yeah, so here's the reality check part of our episode today, when peace is broken and relationships are damaged, the Bible gives us clear instructions on how to restore this peace. There's specifically two situations that are related in the book of Matthew. If you've wronged someone, you go to them.

Speaker 1: 9:57

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 9:58

That's in Matthew 5, right Matthew 5, 23 through 24. If you're offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go first be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. And this is implying, josh, that this conflict affects worship. So the admonition is to go, resolve it first and then come back in worship. And the second one is if someone has wronged you, you need to approach them with love. If your brother sins against you in Matthew 18, 15, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you've gained your brother. So you've got two situations here One where you've been in the wrong, and the second one is when someone else has been in the wrong. So, josh, whose responsibility is it in both of these situations? Both?

Speaker 1: 11:03

both parties.

Speaker 2: 11:03

So both parties are responsible, situations, both parties. So both parties are responsible, but I think the admonition is to the one who recognizes the wrong. So in the first one, when you've wronged somebody, it says in Matthew 5, 23 and 24 you go to them and resolve it, because you're the one who's in the wrong. And then in the second case, when someone has wronged you, it says you go and tell him his fault and then try to work it out. So I think the responsibility, while it's ultimately on both parties, if both parties are doing what they're should be doing, both of you are going to meet in the middle because you're both going to the other person and you're taking action to try to resolve it. So it's really not about who's right or wrong. It's really about honoring God and how we handle this conflict. We're honoring God by following what his word has told us to do, and that is go and talk to them.

Speaker 1: 12:02

Mark, I want to just stop for a moment and before we go any further, and just bring up the class. Remember when we were in class and and we we had this. We went over this material and something happened that we weren't expecting.

Speaker 2: 12:15

Well, no, we don't know exactly what happened, but we know people came to us after the class and told us that People took this to heart and because in the class here's the example that we gave we said again there's 60, 70, 80 people in the classroom, we gave the scenario of we're all in here, we're all trying to make it to heaven, right, but we brought up the possibility that there could be two people in this room. We're going to attending this church for quite a while. We've had a relationship in the past. The current relationship is strained, there's some conflict, there's not peace and we, you know, we injected a little bit of humor to say what are you going to ask God? Could you have a mansion on a different street than this person? Because we don't really get along. And what we did is we challenged the class to go try to make peace, yeah, and not to rehash everything that went on.

Speaker 1: 13:21

And, by the way, we didn't know about anything that may have happened.

Speaker 2: 13:23

No, we were pure speculation that there might be some issue because, again, as we said at the beginning, you know conflict is common to human nature. I mean we're we have conflict with people and so we asked them to take a step towards reconciliation and that was part of our class challenge for that week and and then we moved on and then we found we got class challenge for that week, and then we moved on, and then we found we got feedback later on that said you guys don't really know what the impact was, that there were relationships that were strained that are now resolved. Yeah, and again our admonition was realize you're both trying to go to heaven, realize neither one of you are perfect and make the effort to be humble and to approach the other person and say I regret, our relationship is strained and for my part of that I'm sorry. I really want to have a better relationship with you because I need your encouragement to help me go to heaven and I want to encourage you as well. So something that's really succinct.

Speaker 2: 14:34

Just saying that usually kind of breaks down the wall. Sometimes it could even melt a heart. Where you enter this time, where the tension is gone, it's kind of melted out, and so you could almost enter this period of reflection where either party, or maybe both parties, could at some point down the line go. You know, I'm so glad that you know we're in a good space now, a good place in our relationship, and I appreciate so much you coming to me and what I want to tell you is that I've been thinking about it and now I realize I was wrong and that happened during this period of reflection, after you released the tension and just said I want you to go to heaven, I love you and I want us to have a relationship again like we had before, not again.

Speaker 2: 15:31

None of that identified and rehashed the problem. It was only about how we go from here and move forward and show humility. For my part of it, I'm sorry. And that really opens up when, when I say that, what are you inclined to say? If I were to say you to Josh, if we had this argument and I would go for my part of it, I'm implying that you might've had a part too. For my part of it, I'm sorry, hey over to you.

Speaker 1: 16:03

Naturally, it's probably going to happen because you're and I'm expecting you to say I sorry right but when you see humility on one person's side, then your heart, you know, gets softened and you're more willing to have a conversation. One of the things that I will add to that part of the class is we did talk about like we do every episode we've had so far too praying yeah, it's a big part of this. So praying peace, and we'll talk more about that in a minute. But sometimes to gear up for these not sometimes, that's it In difficult times where we get to have difficult conversations we need to be going to God first. So you talked about Matthew 5 earlier. Pray to God about what you're wanting to do and understand the why behind it.

Speaker 2: 16:42

as we talked about Matthew 5, 9 earlier, the why behind it, as we talked about Matthew 5, 9 earlier, you know. So these instructions that we've been given in Matthew 5 and in Matthew 18 about if you've wronged someone, go to them. If they've wronged you, you go to them. Right, the responsibility is on you, right, ultimately, it's on both parties, but it's on you to initiate it, regardless of where you are in that relationship. Own you to initiate it, regardless of where you are in that relationship. We talked about the example in class and how we kind of put that challenge out there and people we found out after the fact that there were relationships that were restored and that was so encouraging to us. We have no idea what it was, but we're just glad that the relationships have been restored. Agreed, so we've covered what the Bible has to say about restoring peace between two people, between you and someone else. Yeah, but, josh, there's another type of peacemaker.

Speaker 1: 17:36

Yeah, the third party peacemaker. And let's talk about the role of a third party peacemaker. Sometimes conflicts just can't easily be resolved and because of that a third party is needed to help mediate. Philippians 4, 2-3 is a good example of that for us. I treat Iodia and I treat Syntyche to agree to the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel, together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers whose names are in the book of life. Paul encouraged the church here, mark, to step in and to help reconcile others.

Speaker 2: 18:14

You know it's a little bit embarrassing to have an argument be recorded for all time in scripture. You know these two ladies who were workers in the kingdom right, but they weren't of the same mind. They had some sort of disagreement, we believe, and Paul encouraging the church to step in there and help. This is really something that all of us can do, whether it's in friendships, in your circle of friends or family members, or even church family members. There's a way that we can be effective peacemakers. So I'm going to go through five things here real quick. That just it's kind of a guideline to being an effective peacemaker. So, first of all, love both parties. You really want to seek the good of both people. Second, listen carefully.

Speaker 2: 19:10

We already talked about being an effective listener, an empathetic listener. Show grace. What we're really trying to do is be long-suffering. We're called to be long-suffering. Encourage forgiveness rather than focusing on blame. Fourth, ask questions. Again, we've talked about that as well. Help them to reflect on what is going on and work to find a solution and then ultimately be the model of humility and say look, I've done this, you know, and I've been wrong, you know. Admit your own faults and encourage, you know, mutual respect for both parties, and what those two parties may see in you in humility may cause them to want to be humble in their relationship with each other. So five things real quick Love both parties, listen carefully, show grace, be long-suffering, ask questions and then be a model of humility so that they can emulate that when they see it in you.

Speaker 1: 20:20

That's such a great guide. Sometimes people just need to talk it out, and that's where we can help. Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 2: 20:26

So that brings us to our mission challenge for this week. So, because this one is really hard, and again what we should do when we start any challenge, or even start our day, we need to pray for peace. We want to ask God where can I be a peacemaker? Maybe it's in our own relationship with somebody else, or maybe it's as a third party peacemaker. Here's our mission. If you, after you've prayed about it, if there's a relationship that's been strained, reach out to them and seek peace. In your prayer, you may already know the person, you may already know the situation where there is a conflict, and what you're really praying for is the right words to say in the right attitude. So practice humility and when you go to that person seeking peace, and so after you've said, look, I want to resolve, I want to be at peace, you know, a lot of times we're not going to resolve things. Yeah, what we want is peace so we can work together in God's kingdom, side by side. So the next time a disagreement arises, you know there's a way we can maybe even avoid the conflict, and that's being a better listener. Maybe we heard what they said in an incorrect way and so in this case we can be, instead of a peacemaker, we can be a conflict avoider, right? So practicing humility is a way to really avoid conflict when it comes to these types of problems with other people, where our pride has gotten into the relationship and we're looking to, as you said earlier, win the argument. But then also maybe you say, josh, I'm not at war with anybody, I'm good in my relationships, but I guarantee you probably know a couple of friends who are not getting along and maybe you want to be the peacemaker in their life and if there's a way that you can gently encourage resolution.

Speaker 2: 22:43

This is not a single conversation. Most likely, this is a the beginning of a of a conversation. Yeah, it's a beginning of a dialogue and, as we've talked about in earlier ones, we've got to make the decision that we want to do good and that's taking action. You see two people that you care a lot about and they're arguing or they're in conflict, and you love both of them. You want to help them. A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a frame or network of silver. It's a beautiful thing. With our words we can have such an impact on other people's lives. So pray for peace, understand that it's hard. Ask God to give you the right words to say, so that you can possibly restore or reconcile a relationship that you have. Practice humility. Focus on listening rather than trying to win the argument or defending your position, and then go and be a peacemaker in someone else's life. So are you going to talk about the secret project?

Speaker 1: 23:46

Well see, I've tried. I've tried three episodes now, and each time you, well, you kind of embarrass me.

Speaker 2: 23:53

Well, you're right, it's not time. No, I'm kidding, okay.

Speaker 1: 23:58

Why would you bring that up?

Speaker 2: 23:58

You went through that whole thing, yeah, I did bring it up this time, so we gave a hint the last time. Something about reading between the lines yeah, so obvious coming next month, in may. Uh, we hopefully are going to be releasing a study guide on good works that encapsulates all that we've compiled on good works and the study of good works. So watch for our socials for the release date of that and hopefully we'll get it done.

Speaker 1: 24:30

Yeah, we're really excited. We're really really excited to get this out. We'll have more information coming out. All forms of social media.

Speaker 2: 24:37

So that's it for today's episode of Made for Good. If this conversation encouraged you or challenged you or caused you to resolve a relationship, we'd love to hear about that. If you've got comments or questions, be sure to post those on our different social media outlets.

Speaker 1: 24:57

And if you found this helpful, and we hope that you did consider sharing it with a friend. Until next time, seek peace, be a bridge for reconciliation and remember you were made for this. Thank you.